What is it that kids, dogs and even horses intrinsically don’t trust?
They don’t trust emotionally unstable humans. When a dog is associated with an emotionally unstable human, do you know what it’s default response is?
“This human has not got its shit together, I need to be the pack leader.”
And do you know what creates neurotic behavior in a dog? A dog trying to lead a human.
So if your dog is neurotic, it’s got nothing to do with your dog and everything to do with the fact that it doesn’t trust you. It may jump on your lap, it may lick your face, all right, it might piss on your cornflakes, whatever. It may demonstrate a whole range of behaviours.
A dog, when it is not on a walk, should always be walking around calm and relaxed. If a dog is highly strung, it is merely just echoing and demonstrating and reflecting your behaviour.
Cesar Milan says, “I don’t train dogs. I rehabilitate dogs and I train humans”.
And when I work with a business owner, especially if they’ve got a team, they say, “Can you train my team”.
I’ll rehabilitate your team and I’ll train you. Because your team is for the most part just reflecting your emotional instability.
Humans by nature, they will not trust people who are emotionally unstable. They’ll be your friend. They’ll say nice things to your face. They’ll even say bad things to your face. But if you are emotionally unstable, humans, at a core level, won’t trust you.
Because people who are emotionally unstable, what do they do? Fucking anything!
They’re unpredictable. And human beings see people who are unpredictable as a threat and a danger.
And kids especially see emotionally unstable adults as threatening.
Imagine going up to a team member if they do something wrong, and you walk up to them and you smack them. Can you imagine what they’d do? They’d be like, “Are you kidding me? Do it again…”
So, it’s really important that we understand, in order to lead whether it be a horse, a human or a mammal that we’ve got to be calm assertive.
Like someone who walks a dog who doesn’t know how to walk the dog. They’re like stiff and they’re constantly pulling on the lead. Now, when you’re stiff and you’re constantly pulling on the lead what are you teaching the dog?
You’re teaching the dog to resist you. So when you walk with the dog, the idea of walking your dog is learning how to develop enough trust with the animal so that it’ll walk just beside you, just a little bit behind you and it will follow you.
If the dog doesn’t trust you, you know, because the dog walks in front of you. So once you’ve exercised it, you then start to institute discipline where you start to teach the dog, through little corrections, little corrections, but you’re constantly pulling the dog back to a point where it’s like, “Okay, every time I walk in front I get a little nudge. Every time I walk in front I get a nudge. Okay, if I walk here, I don’t get that nudge”.
And it gets used to the leash being relaxed and then the dog learns to walk in a relaxed manner. It’s the same with kids, and it’s the same with team.
The team need to be corrected when they exceed a boundary but they need to be corrected in a way that is calm but assertive.
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